Tampon Heads!

We are home from Thailand ... actually been home for a couple weeks and life is just now starting to settle in again.

When I left I had turned over some of my job duties to someone who had been promoted ... then when I got back I found out that they couldn't handle the "new" job duties - so I am back to doing the extra work I was doing when I left ... BUT the company I work for is doing the right thing and making it worth my while. Plus, I have one hell of a boss who I would do anything for because she is fair and very caring about her employees. That my friend I know is a rare, rare find. Not to mention that I am a BIG pain in the ass to supervise because I am a hot head and she is the only one that would put up with me!

I didn't really miss much while I was gone ... EXCEPT for the Monkey (our grandson). He and I went to a Children's Play Museum this weekend.In the space room they had helmets that you could wear. Well he looked cute in his, but mine ... well ...as you can see I look like a tampon head! Monkey forced me to wear it, after all how can you get into a space ship without a helmet ... but alas no Scotty ever beamed us up!

He threw the golf balls in the ball room at the walls. He drank water from the tugboat floating pool and last but not least he threw sand at two other little Monkeys in the sand room.

But boy did we have fun!

There's a Light ...Carol Ann ... Now Go To It Already

I have decided to give the Infamous Snow Bitch - ah I mean Snow Fairy a name. I shall call her Carol Ann. Now Carol Ann needs to get a damn clue and head toward the light. The light far far away from here!

I am working from home today. In the presence of our two year old grandson who keeps dragging me to the window and taking my head in his hands to make me look at the snow. The same one who keeps thinking that my computer is for viewing Big Bear in the Blue House vs being used for work!

The picture below is Mrs. Monkey's car. An SUV came down the hill and slid into the yard missing her car by inches.

Carol Ann - LISTEN UP! Go TOWARD the light ... and stay the hell there!

Redneck Healthcare

Every since my early twenties I have been blessed with unsightly skin tags on my neck. My dad has them, my grandpa had them and for some reason thought that they would pass the physical imperfection on to me.

I asked the doctor to look at them and see if she could remove them. She said, "No, but I will refer you to a dermatologist that will. After I check them to make sure they are benign." I said okay let's do it! She checks them and they are benign so the next step would be to, "pay a doctor to remove them."

*Record Scratch*

WHAT!!! My insurance won't pay for it?! No, she says because it isn't a health problem!!! It's all about vanity. WTF it isn't vanity! I look in the mirror and they are ugly as hell! That messes with my mental health doesn't it! That's way within the realm of Blue Cross Blue Shield management I think!

Anyway, I look on line for ways to remove unsightly skin tags at home. I see everything from put wart removal on them to some strange mixture of baking soda and rat poison and then watch them fall off in three days!

Then after several hours of research I saw that people were actually cutting them off at home on their own. Now, I do not have the gonads to do that but Mrs. Monkey, who is an RN BTW, decides that it would be a GREAT idea and an exciting educational experiment. Her eyes light up brighter than a deer in your headlights as it bears witness to it's own death.

Below are the video exploits of Mrs. Monkey performing surgery on my neck. Warning it's not for the weak at heart, but worth exploring if you dare!!!

Redneck Healthcare saved me a total sum of $1500! The removal was painless with no side effects!

Open Letter To The Snow Fairy

Dear Snow Fairy,

What is it with all the snow and cold in Kansas City?! What purpose does it have to get this cold??? If it is just your way of getting rid of some things, write me a little note and I will round up enough people to get it done, warm it back up already!

Signed,

Someone Who Use to Like You - But Now Doesn't

Sweet 8 lb baby Jesus. Today it didn't even get above 9 degrees in Kansas City. I tried with all my might to get up our hill today with my truck to no avail. I wound up walking up it and catching a ride with a co-worker.

Then to make it even worse we are to get another 4 to 6 inches of the white crap tonight! WTF! Where the hell is it going to fall?!

So, I went to the grocery store today and bought some chow in case we get snowed in. Then I had to walk down the hill with my work bag containing 80 lbs of files and my three bags of food from the grocery store!

Tonight my goal is to slip into (or okay maybe slide into) every side street and alley in Kansas City and set traps for the snow fairy ... and oh when I catch her, her fairy winged ass is mine! I am a ruthless hunter and I will find her!

The Snow Fairy Bitch is going to make me break my New Years Resolution #3 - To stop cursing and taking the Lord's name in vain so much. I should remember my religious upbringing and actually fear going to Hell.

More Snow

Last night Kansas City received another three inches of snow. This is on top of the 9 inches we already have.

Yeah, I know, there are plenty of places that get WAY more snow than this every winter. BUT not Kansas City!!! I didn't move here to get snowed in on the hill I live on, and to pay taxes to a city that NEVER plows my street!

I swear to God - when I catch that little Mother Nature Snow Fairy (insert expletive here), I am going to rip her wings off one at a time, throw her on the ground - in the snow and let the cat have his way with her!!!

Whoever pissed her off , I hope you are happy!

Our Dishwasher and Washing Machine Welcome in 2010

It's 2 below outside. Our streets are covered with ICE, which was once snow, but thanks to our wonderful Kansas City works department is now ICE.

New Years Eve our dishwasher decided that it was going to quit washing dishes and force us into the stone age and make us wash them by hand. D and I weren't going to have it, after all this was the year of our lord 2010 and by God ... we will have a working dishwasher. That mindset changed when we called the manufacturer and was told that they part needed would take a week to come in. So today, I will become a cave woman and wash the dishes.

To make matter worse, last night our washing machine decided that it to had enough of us and our 20th century way of thinking and blew some bearings. This action ruined three of my favorite T-Shirts. It was so loud that I thought it had decided to open fire on the dryer with a shotgun.

So... today D and I will be venturing out in the snow and ice to purchase a new washing machine. To accomplish this task I have to go out and take the two wood pallets out of the back of my truck that I have added for weight to drive on the icy streets of Kansas City, Alaska ... ah I mean Missouri.

We may have to be in the stone age and do dishes for a week, but we will be doing it in clean clothes and smelling like snuggle!

Ah the joys of owning appliances. When I turn blue, I just start breathing again.